Fair weather friends need not apply
Saturday night in DC was a good night for staying home and avoiding the miserable weather. It definitely put a damper on enthusiastic statements like, “It’s my birthday everyone, let’s go out and celebrate!” It had been raining all day and it was a dreary day better suited for staying home and watching movies. But if you can’t tolerate some bad weather on a friend’s birthday, how much of a friend are you, really?
It was my friend Leah’s birthday and she invited everyone to a bar in Dupont Circle to celebrate. It’s interesting how a group of strangers can get together – only knowing one or two people in the group – and end up having spectacular chemistry. Later in the evening another group claimed the pool table next to ours. One of the girls was wearing a sash that said, “Birthday Girl” and donned a paper tiara letting the world know two important details: that it was her 21st birthday, and that she was drunk enough to be seen in public wearing a ridiculous paper tiara. It was an ensemble in the true spirit of the 21st birthday.
It wasn’t long before the two birthday girls began chatting, taking pictures together and sharing a bond that I imagine only a Libra would understand. When Leah went to the bathroom, I told the rest of her friends, “I feel like we have failed her. That other girl is walking around like she’s Miss America! What did we do for Leah? Bought her a shot? I’m starting to think we dropped the ball.”
Of course I was speaking facetiously. Leah is a decade past her 21st birthday and is not the kind of person to care to aspire to be the center of attention. She works very hard volunteering her time and energy to raise money for Cancer research. She has an event coming up this week and one of her friends suggested we do something special for her at the event. Not enough to take the spotlight away from the cause she’s worked so hard for, but something uniquely for her. We haven’t yet decided if we’ll get a cake or pitch in for a spa treatment or what form it will take. But we’ll come up with something to take care of this girl who has done so much to take care of other people.
Saturday night I finally made it home to my warm, comfy bed; and I felt pretty warm and cozy on the inside, too. This is one of those things that I love about being single that I don’t experience so much when I’m in a relationship. None of us have any commitments or expectations, but we are getting together to do something nice for a friend. Out of genuine affection. This is something that I think you start to lose when you put so much of yourself into one relationship. Birthdays and holidays and anniversaries come around and you always try to do something special – with varying degrees of effort depending on the individual.
I am not suggesting that all gifts between couples are routine and obligatory. What I am celebrating is the beauty of a gesture where there is no repercussions if you show up empty-handed, no expectation of getting something in return. Just a genuine, unexpected demonstration that someone has touched your life and made it a little bit better. It doesn’t make a difference if you are single, attached, married, divorced or widowed; people go out of their way to do nice things for other people all the time. Yet, I can only speak for myself when I say that it feels so much more rewarding when I focus on relationships with friends and family, or even coworkers who make my job a little bit better just by being there every day. These are the people in life that rarely ever know how much of a difference they make in our lives. It is a wonderful feeling to pool your resources with others and let someone know they are appreciated.
